This is my deepest, darkest secret. I got admitted to study Engineering at a federal university. My parents were SO proud. First child to go to university in our family. They were telling everyone. My dad even borrowed money to pay my fees. First year was hell. I failed 4 courses. Resit, failed again. I was depressed, anxious, couldn't cope. Second year, I just... stopped going. I couldn't face the failure anymore. But I didn't tell my parents. Every morning I wake up, dress up in my backpack, and 'go to school'. I go to cafes, libraries, anywhere but school. I've been doing this for 2 YEARS. When my parents call asking about school, I tell them everything is fine. I send them fake results I make on Photoshop. They're so proud of my grades. Last month, my dad started planning my graduation party. He's invited the whole family. He's ordered aso-ebi. He's rented a hall. The 'graduation' is in 2 months. I don't know what to do. Do I confess now and break their hearts? Do I fake a certificate somehow? Do I run away? My younger siblings look up to me. My extended family is so excited. My dad has been telling people 'my son the engineer' for 2 years. I've been living a complete lie. Every day I wake up with anxiety. I can't eat properly. I've lost so much weight. My girlfriend knows and she's begging me to tell the truth but I CAN'T. The shame will kill my father. He borrowed money for my education. Money we don't have. And I wasted it all. I've applied to some companies pretending I'm about to graduate, just to keep up appearances. Some have even called me for interviews. I don't know how deep to dig this hole. Part of me thinks if I get a good job, maybe I can do the degree later and nobody will know? But graduation party is in 2 MONTHS. What happens when there's no certificate? What happens when my name is not on the graduation list? I've thought about photoshopping a certificate but that's fraud. I've thought about confessing but the thought of my father's face breaks me. I've even thought about just disappearing. I'm trapped in a lie that gets bigger every day.